This really cracked me up. I have a very immature sense of humour evidently. But this gave me many a giggle so I thought I’d share. Come join me in my laughter.
I never feel like I give my readers anything personal to get their teeth into. So below is a tumblr-esque style question list, write the number in the comments below and I’ll answer them
You may regret knowing more about me but things are better off out in the open.
1. Last kiss
2. Last phone call
3. Last text message
4. Last song you listened to
5. Last time you cried
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice
7. Been cheated on
8. Self harmed
9. Lost someone special
10. Been depressed
11. Been drunk and threw up
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
12. had sex
13. How many people have you had sex with this year?
15. Made a new friend
17. Laughed until you cried
18. Met someone who changed you
19. Found out who your true friends were
20. Found out someone was talking about you
26. What did you do for your last Birthday
27. What time did you wake up today
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for
30. Last time you saw all of your siblings at the same time
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life
32. What are you listening to right now
33. When is the last time you had sex?
34. Who’s getting on your nerves right now
35. Most visited webpage
36. Favorite colour
38. Relationship Status
39. Zodiac sign
40. Male or female
41. Primary school
42. Secondary School
43. High school/college
44. Eye color
47. Do you have a crush on someone
48. What do you like about yourself
51. Righty or lefty
53. First piercing
54. First best friend
55. First hookup
56. First boy friend
61. I’m about to
62. Listening to
63. Waiting for
64. Want kids?
65. Get married?
WHICH IS BETTER:
67. Lips or eyes
68. Hugs or kisses
69. Shorter or taller
70. Older or Younger
71. Romantic or spontaneous
72. Nice stomach or nice arms
73. Sensitive or loud
74. Hook-up or relationship
HAVE YOU EVER:
76. Kissed a stranger
77. Drank hard liquor
78. Lost glasses/contacts
79. Had sex
80. Broken someone’s heart
82. Been arrested
83. Turned someone down
84. Cried when someone died
85. Fallen for a friend
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
88. Love at first sight
90. Santa Clause
91. Kiss on the first date?
93. How would you label yourself?
94. Someone You Pray Everyday For
95. Did you sing today?
96. Who From All Your Ex’s have You Cared The Most About?
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?
98. Out Of Everything In The World What Do You Wish For?
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?
100. Do you like the way you look?
I have been in the possession of one new stapler for no more than two minutes and it no longer staples. It doesn’t even press down and attempt to staple. I killed it with my bare hands because evidently I’m some kind of power hungry, organisational freak. Serves me right for buying a cheap one or for having really powerful hands.
Hi. How has your weekend been?
I’ve had a better weekend this week. Thank you for asking.
I’m less of the miserable and more of the hopeful which turns out is really hard to maintain but great once it’s in your grasp. I’ve spent most of the weekend alone which I like. I like people but I also like me and I like me some me time. I’m going to say ‘me’ once more because I don’t think I said it enough in that last sentence.
I’ve stopped listening to that song I told you about last month. It was dragging me down and now every time it comes on the radio it sends a chill down my spine and I have to change stations. Funny how something that lasts three minutes can stick in your mind. In future if I start obsessing over anything be that a song or nutella or even god forbid…a guy, it is your job to tell me to calm the eff down. I mean it. All write: Aimee calm the fuck down you overpowering freak.
If you want to be a little nicer, that too is also welcome.
I feel like bursting into tears… How’s that for an opener? Men simply do not understand the emotions of women. We aren’t able to shut ourselves off from our emotions, we are incapable of returning back to normal when someone … Continue reading
I have the urge to blog but have nothing in particular to say.
Although one of my students confused ‘hymen’ with ‘hyphen’ today which was all sorts of fun. Said child then felt the need to inform the whole class of the biological definition which caused belly laughs and laughter tears. I informed them that Hymen is the name for the Greek God of Marriage too, to add some class back into the lesson…but I’d lost them at that point to sexual hilarity.
Just incase you’re interested a hyphen is a dash. Definitely not a hymen.
So after Friday’s mini breakdown I pulled myself together, grew some lady balls and looked at things logically which in basic terms means without emotions. It helped a lot actually. I discovered that I am a very cold and bitter person and hoard grudges like they’ll make me a better person but it turns out they do not, so I am going to make a conscious effort to be less bitter and more accepting of things as they are.
I also went to a place where me and ‘mystery guy’ used to go. It was awful, there was no magic, no hand to hold and no laughter just a discarded array of memories and a smooth running stream. I just sat there, it was eerily peaceful. I felt honoured to have had those memories and happy in my heart that they were a part of my life.
I can remember everything you know? Even the tiniest of things and I realised that holding those tightly to my chest will not allow me to move on and be happy. I’d happily wallow in a sadness that lays heavy in my heart just to be that much closer to him but it wont change anything, it’s not healthy and in the cold light of day I deserve to be happy. We all do. It’s not a privilege but a right. Our right, our happiness and our journey.
I did something terrible today.
It has been raining continuously all day today. The English teacher in me calls this ‘Pathetic Fallacy’. I left work quite late after a pathetic breakdown whilst sprawled across a trees worth of paper work. By the time I had left work, puddles had formed or in some cases small shallow ponds. I’m driving along, delirious in my tearful mood, and I drove straight through a free flowing mass of water and saturated someone. That’s right, some poor man got drenched as I drove through a mini shallow river. I didn’t mean it.
Although that’s not even the worst of it.
I laughed once I did it and continued to laugh for the remaining 15 minutes of my journey home. I’m an awful human being and I’m truly sorry, truly I am. I was miserable. Blame that.
On another note…I gots myself an interview which is exciting.
Sorry puddle man.
Yesterday. I literally didn’t know whether to laugh or run very far away. And then run some more. This was what happened:
Student: “Miss, you know anti bac hand gel?”
Me: “Yes, I know anti bac hand gel”
Student: “Well, it says on my one that it has alcohol in it, does that mean that if I put loads of it on my hands and sniff really hard I’ll get drunk?”
What on earth was that? Like, seriously. This student honestly thought that if they sniffed anti-bacterial hand gel for long enough they would become drunk on its fumes. Brilliant. This ladies and gentlemen is our future generation. I feel sick to my stomach and very tearful at the thought of our world being run by child like adults high on anti-bacterial hand gel and running about the place screaming “SMELL MY HANDS!!!”.
I replied with: “No, you will not get drunk by inhaling anti bac gel don’t be so ridiculous”.
NSDFGHJKDLKJDSLVNNVL. I don’t want to live in a world with people like that. SAVE ME. SAVE YOURSELVES. RUUUUUN.
I’m not sure where I want my life to be heading. There, I said it. I have no idea. Every time I get comfortable and think “yep this is great” life comes marching along and pisses all over it.
And yes I know…’nothing ever worth having was ever easy’ but you know…just this once it might be nice to have the answers. Not all, just some.
But right now I’m huddled in a dark tunnel with no light, hugging my knees and rocking like a 6 year old waiting to be found.
Maybe I just need to find myself..
First day back at school really kicks your arse. I’ve spent the last minute or so trying to figure out why there was still light shining in my room even though I’d switched my light off. Turns out it was a lamp. It took me longer to register that than it should’ve done. I’m not embarrassed by this, I’m tired. Too tired to feel silly. Too delirious to be writing about it.
Day 1 recap: The children think my first name’s Armageddon and they also think I went away for six weeks to discover a new species of butterfly in the Amazon Rainforest. I didn’t. Ha. They missed me and my necklaces and said that my short hair makes me look “prettier”…I’ve clearly been looking like someone from the living dead for the past 6 months then.
School’s the kind of place that can eat you up and spit you back out and will make you laugh out loud when you least expect it. But it can also make you bloody tired. Night all! 💤